For years Peter Eldridge has remained at the forefront of both the singer-songwriter and jazz realms as a vocalist, pianist, composer, and arranger. Peter was head of the Manhattan School of Music’s jazz voice department for eighteen years and is now Professor of Voice at Berklee College of Music in Boston.
He has five critically acclaimed albums under his belt, and he is also a founding member of internationally acclaimed vocal group, New York Voices. The group continues to tour internationally and has performed in some of the world’s most preeminent venues and festivals, including Carnegie Hall, Avery Fisher Hall, and the Kennedy Center. NYV has been involved in two Grammy-award winning projects with Paquito D’Rivera and the Count Basie Orchestra, and has collaborated with the Bob Mintzer Big Band, and legendary Brazilian singer/songwriter Ivan Lins and the Danish Radio Big Band. On the more contemporary side, Peter is also a member of the vocal group MOSS, alongside Kate McGarry, Theo Bleckmann, Lauren Kinhan and Luciana Souza (and now vocalist Jo Lawry).
He lives in Walpole, New Hampshire, and has two children aged ten and eleven.
UK Jazz News: What is the best advice you received about balancing/juggling parenthood and career?
Peter Eldridge: One thing that a jazz musician friend once said to me that I find myself continuing to work on (admittedly with varying degrees of success) is not beating myself up too badly when I have to be on the road and away from my kids. As we musicians know, there is a somewhat relentless give-and-take that comes with a life in the arts. More often than not your schedule is exactly the opposite from ‘regular folks’ schedules (in this case, your kids’ friends’ parents). It’s why you can’t always be at the school soccer game or dance concert. It took a fair amount of time for my children to understand this concept (and not be threatened or frustrated by it). Ultimately both my kids seem to genuinely love what I do and think it’s cool that my work is centered around music, whether that means touring or teaching.
I’m a full time faculty member at Berklee and it’s too far to pull off commuting to and from my house in New Hampshire. So I pack a full-time schedule into three days a week so (in a perfect world) I can be home the rest of the time. But often when I’m not teaching I’m off doing concerts on my own or with New York Voices. Depending on their mood, both kids can lay the guilt on pretty thick as I’m leaving (which is natural), but they also understand that what I do is not only rewarding/important to me, but also pays the bills and allows us to enjoy the life we have.
UKJN: What information or advice do you wish you’d received but didn’t (and had to learn through trial and error or on the go)?
PE: I honestly think that advice would be there’s no such thing as finding a ‘true balance’ – that you focus on your family or you focus on your work, and one can’t help but overshadow the other depending on what life is demanding of you at that particular moment. And you do the best you can within those parameters. My home life and my music life often feel quite disparate from each other, and it can be a bit schizophrenic at times.
UKJN: Your top tip(s) for other parents in jazz:
PE: This is such a simple concept but my tip is to just show up for your kids as much as possible, that they just want to hang – it doesn’t have to be an over-the-top party or a bigger than life special occasion. Just be with them, pay attention to them, love on them. It’s the silly, spontaneous moments together that mean everything. Way more to them than bringing back tchotchkes from some midwestern town.
UKJN: Best general travel/gigging/tour-with-child advice:
PE: I’ve only toured once or twice with my kids so far. I feel that, as they get a little older, it will be easier to bring them on the road with me – but in the few trips they’ve joined me on I can tell they already love the ‘eccentricity’ of road life, they love the musicians who quickly become glorified aunts and uncles, that they get to meet all different kinds of people, and how different touring life feels from the rest of life. And again, the hang is everything, being in the background during soundchecks, seeing the interplay between the band members, the psychology and human drama of it all. It’s nothing but an exciting adventure and learning experience for them.
UKJN: What is one way that figures or structures in the jazz industry could better support parents who are working jazz musicians?
PE: Honestly, since the pandemic I think almost everybody, whether you’re the artist performing, the promoter promoting, or the arts series trying to fill a season’s worth of seats, are doing the best they can within an environment still reeling from a significantly unsettled time. So expectations can’t be too lofty or unrealistic, there’s not really a place for artists (especially jazz artists) making a lot of demands. Can the jazz industry better support jazz musician parents? Probably. Can it afford it? I really doubt it (but I’d love to be wrong about that).
UKJN: What has surprised you about becoming a parent and remaining engaged with your professional activities and ambitions?
PE: One thing I’ve realized recently is that I don’t try as hard to be ‘buddies’ with my students as I used to. Granted that also comes with age, but I’ve got kids at home who need that energy from me, and I’m an older dad so I tend to reserve it for them rather than the music school environment. I still cherish my lasting relationships with a good number of people I’ve taught and worked with over the years, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that number gets less and less as time goes on.
UKJN: What boundaries have you set for yourself as a parent in jazz (could be related to travel/touring, riders, personal parameters, child care decisions, etc.)?
PE: Ultimately, I think the days of being on tour for more than a week or ten days at a time are over. I simply can’t be away from my kids that long. It creates a disconnect. At least not at the age where they are now – perhaps when they’re teens and don’t want to have anything to do with me it’ll be different. But coming back to that ‘just showing up’ comment made earlier, all they want is to get time with you, and when all is said and done to know you’re there, unequivocally, for them. That’s pretty much it.
(*) Parents in Jazz was started (first as ‘Mothers In Jazz’) by vocalist Nicky Schrire in August 2022. The initiative aims to create an online resource for working jazz musicians with children, those contemplating parenthood, and jazz industry figures who work with and hire musicians who are parents. The insight of the musicians interviewed for this series provides valuable emotional, philosophical and logistical information and support that is easily accessible to all. “Parents In Jazz” shines a light on the very specific role of being both a parent and a performing jazz musician.
