UK Jazz News

Parents In Jazz: Ben Wittman

Ben Wittman. photo credit: Wayne Baggs

Ben Wittman is an American drummer and producer who has performed and recorded with an eclectic roster including Sting, Paul Simon, Paula Cole, and Don Byron. He has produced records for New York Voices, and engineered music by säje and Jonatha Brooke. He lives in Toronto, Canada with his wife, vocalist/pianist Laila Biali, and their thirteen year-old son.


UKJazz News: What is the best advice you received about balancing/juggling parenthood and career?

Ben Wittman: I learned a lot by observing other artists over the years with their own children. I still regularly get fresh insights and ideas. Also, my parents were performing artists and even though they didn’t tour I grew up in a household that was centered around a career in the arts. My childhood experience has prepared me somewhat for being a parent in the midst of a very fluid and dynamic lifestyle. I do think it’s important to stay flexible, stay in the moment and not get attached to preconceptions about how a daily schedule should be followed. In general I’ve noticed children of artists are remarkably flexible and just need to know they are being included in mom and dad’s world. They usually love the ride!

UKJN: What information or advice do you wish you’d received but didn’t (and had to learn through trial and error or on the go)?

BW: We were fortunate to raise our son in Brooklyn, NY for his first five years. It was a community filled with artists and creatives so we didn’t feel lacking for advice, support and camaraderie.

UKJN: Your top tip(s) for other parents in jazz:

BW: Expect the unexpected, don’t try to rigidly adhere to a given plan. Always pack plenty of snacks and spare diapers and underwear. Don’t expect your child to be a musician or follow in your footsteps. And if they do show interest, don’t pressure them. They need to find their own path, their own voice.

UKJN: Best general travel/gigging/tour-with-child advice:

BW: Per the above: Always travel with plenty of snacks and spare diapers/underwear. Also, leave extra time for rest stops, pee breaks, checking in for flights, time between connecting flights etc. If possible, find someone to watch your child during soundcheck. We usually think about organizing care for the performance, but soundcheck is a critical time for mom and dad to get focused and make sure they are properly prepared for the show.

UKJN: What is one way that figures or structures in the jazz industry could better support parents who are working jazz musicians?

BW: My son Josh would tell you to make sure there is Wifi at every club. More seriously, issues of male chauvinism and sexism are still predominant in the industry. As awareness and equality for women develop alongside more women in leadership and managerial roles sensitivity will also improve. For parents, so much is about a supportive environment at a given venue. Management and tech crews being sensitive and supportive to artists as they arrive with their children goes a long way. The small stuff really helps- spare diapers, a change table, playpen, not to mention the wifi. On a bigger scale, childcare options and a list of local qualified babysitters could help immensely.
UKJN: What has surprised you about becoming a parent and remaining engaged with your professional activities and ambitions?

BW: How much fun and how inspiring it is! I was initially concerned that being a parent would reduce the energy, time and passion available to be the musician I wanted to be. But the experience of being a father has only brought more richness and inspiration. Sure, there are times when I don’t get the sleep I used to or when my child’s needs supersede my own musical plans, but overall being a father has brought immeasurable depth and meaning to my career. The other takeaway is the humbling realization that any unfulfilled goals are solely about my own issues. Being a parent has absolutely zero to do with not getting one’s musical goals accomplished.

UKJN: What boundaries have you set for yourself as a parent in jazz (could be related to travel/touring, riders, personal parameters, child care decisions, etc.)?

BW: My wife and I tour together, but we also tour separately. We have a hard rule: Never spend more than two weeks away from one another. It’s advice we received from another touring couple many years ago and it really holds true. Longer than two weeks changes the dynamic of our marriage. We always get back into our rhythm, but keeping it under two weeks ensures a much quicker return to normal. If I’m going out as a listener I don’t stay late post-performance. I prioritize health and sleep as much as possible. We’re always happy to have a local person watch our child for a few hours at the venue during soundcheck, but we would not trust someone whom we did not know to do an extended evening or overnight. Did I mention good wifi at the venue?

(*) Parents in Jazz was started (first as ‘Mothers In Jazz’) by vocalist Nicky Schrire in August 2022. The initiative aims to create an online resource for jazz industry professionals with children, those contemplating parenthood, and jazz industry figures who work with and hire musicians who are parents. The insight of the musicians and administrators interviewed for this series provides valuable emotional, philosophical and logistical information and support that is easily accessible to all. “Parents In Jazz” shines a light on the very specific role of being both a parent and a performing jazz musician or jazz arts professional.

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