Naomi Moon Siegel is an American trombonist, improviser, composer, and educator. Her original musical vocabulary draws on the richness of a variety of global musical traditions and the sonorities of the natural world. Naomi explores the trombone as a vehicle for sonic expression colored by breath, spit, and physicality. A longtime collaborator with Wayne Horvitz, she has performed with musicians including Allison Miller, Carmen Staaf, The California Honeydrops, Skerik, and Thione Diop.
Naomi is a recipient of Chamber Music America’s Performance Plus Grant, Jazz Journalists Association’s Jazz Hero Award, Montana Art Council’s Artist Innovation Award, and an Earshot Jazz’s Golden Ear Award for Emerging Artist of the Year. She was honored to be selected as a member of Mutual Mentorship for Musicians 4th cohort— a program started by Sara Serpa and Jen Shyu to empower and commission new compositions by historically underrepresented gender identities in music. An adjunct professor of trombone at the University of Montana, she is a dedicated music educator and is a faculty member at the Stanford Jazz Workshop. Naomi lives in the USA and has a three year-old son.
UK Jazz News: What is the best advice you received about balancing/juggling parenthood and career?
Naomi Moon Siegel: I don’t recall receiving advice about juggling parenthood with a career in music. A lot of folks seemed to think having a child was not a good idea, since having a career in music can be challenging enough as is. There is still a negative stigma around birthing parents being able to continue and further their careers. It’s just something that we all figure out how to do. The few mother musicians I did talk to emphasized their increased ability to focus when they had time, since time was such a limited and precious resource. They also expressed having a deeper presence and gratitude for the time they had to play music, not taking it for granted as much as before having children. I have found focus to be more challenging since becoming a parent, but I’m inspired by these folks who have dialed it in. For example, I used to turn my phone off when I practice, but now I need to leave it on in case my child’s preschool needs to contact me, so I am in the practice of establishing boundaries around that. Especially after the pandemic, I do find such increased appreciation for the moments I have to play music with other people.
UKJN: What information or advice do you wish you’d received but didn’t (and had to learn through trial and error or on the go)?
NMS: Take the time that you need for yourself to feel like a human, whatever that is. Don’t feel guilty for doing that. Your child will be ok, and probably better, as you will be able to bring more presence to your interactions with them. But also be in the practice of getting what you need in way less time. It’s not going to look like it did before having a child.
Bringing a child into the world is an intense and often traumatic experience. Hormones can be a wild ride. Do your best to build a support network of people who can help care for your child, but also folks who truly see you and hold you as the full human and musician that you are, especially in the early days of transitioning into parenthood. This can be such an isolating time, and having friends and loved ones reflect back who you are can be so helpful. Becoming a parent happens both all at once and over time, it is a transition that is always shifting as you and your child grow and develop in new ways. You always hear that people say that your life will completely change, which I have found to be true. But you just don’t really know what that means until you know.
Being a parent and a musician looks different for every person, every family. Honor and trust what that looks like for you.
UKJN: Your top tip(s) for other parents in jazz:
NMS: You can do it all, but it’s going to look really different. Get really clear about what are the most important ways to spend your time and resources and set boundaries to support that. It’s ok to spend time away from your child and it’s ok to spend a lot of time with your child. Every phase of the journey is fleeting, the easy ones and the hard ones, even if it doesn’t feel like it when you are in it. Amidst all the joy of parenthood, I think a lot of it can be about learning to be with grief and change. Perhaps grieving that birth didn’t go as you wanted, or grieving the end of breastfeeding, or grieving the change in your relationship with your partner, or that your kid doesn’t do that cute thing he used to do anymore. Making regular space in your life to be with the process of grief and loss can help open you up to the constant change and joy around you.
Know your ideal number of hours of sleep you need to feel like you and do your best to hit that number whenever you can. Having a good structure around sleeping and eating for your kid is key, while knowing sometimes you just have to let things go.
Share what you’re up to as a musician with your child. Share who you are playing with and where you are playing. Bringing them into the fold helps deepen your connection with them even when you’re away. On the flip side, they can show you their toys or play games with you via video while you’re away.
Things are often messy. Learn to be with messiness.
UKJN: Travel/gigging/tour-with-child advice. This can be gear or gadget-related, or pertain to approach/what to do/what not to do:
NMS: Having a stroller or fold up wagon in the airport is always a good idea, even if it ends up being just to carry stuff. It’s especially nice if you can fit your horn in there. Always bring extra clothes and diapers, but not too much. Snacks too! When traveling for a gig with a child, do your best to have the time you need to be centered and ready for your performance. As an introvert, I often benefit from more time than less, which can be really challenging to get when traveling with a young child. So it can be much easier for me to travel without my child, and I’m privileged to have the support to be able to do that. That being said, I’m always looking for the opportunities where it does work for me to bring my child and share that experience with him. He loves being part of the whole scene, packing up, loading and unloading, setting up gear, listening to the music, seeing all the people around, and checking out the performance spaces.
UKJN: What is one way that figures or structures in the jazz industry could better support parents who are working jazz musicians?
NMS: Hire, highlight, and support more musicians who are also birthing parents. Don’t assume that they don’t want to perform after having a baby. We need more representation in this realm.
Provide childcare or finance childcare. This can go for venues, festivals, residencies, grants, jazz camps, and is especially necessary for musicians who are single parents.
Recently I heard the term Motherful from Alexis Pauline Gumbs on a podcast called Mother Is A Question. She asks the questions, “What if humans could evolve into our most nurturing and creative selves? What if society were organized around care instead of extraction and destruction?” I’d love to see the jazz world take on those questions as well. I’m interested in integrating that idea into my approach to being a bandleader, musician, composer, educator, and community member. Seeing colleagues and the folks I interact with as full, complex humans with needs who are all on this challenging beautiful planet together. How can we build little pockets of community and connection wherever we go, honor the process and the relationships all along the way?
UKJN: What has surprised you about becoming a parent and remaining engaged with your professional activities and ambitions?
NMS: At first, being a parent felt at odds with being a musician and vice versa. I found it really difficult to integrate these two identities in my life. I felt like one pulled me away from the other. Now I’m seeing how these identities can merge, interweave, support, and inspire each other. Improvising on the bandstand can help inform how I flow with my toddler. Rolling with my toddler can help me flow with a soundcheck or travel day that goes awry. Unquestionably, I feel more like my fully expressed self when I’m performing and engaged with my craft, and that helps me be a more present parent.
UKJN: What boundaries have you set for yourself as a parent in jazz (could be related to travel/touring, riders, personal parameters, child care decisions, etc.)?
NMS: Sleep for both my child and me is paramount. Things just tend to go better when we all get enough sleep, so I really try to set up our days, even when traveling, to get enough sleep or have time to catch up on sleep.
At first putting my child in daycare was really challenging for me. I felt guilty for not spending as much time with him and also had trouble trusting other people with his care, but I also desperately needed more time. I have learned that having him in childcare is mutually supportive for both of us and try not to question it any more.
I’m working on using time blocking to make better use of my time and energy. As an independent, creative musician, there are so many hats to wear including a lot of administrative work. I’m in the practice of choosing no more than a few things to focus on every day and making sure I honor my time to practice and compose and explore new concepts.
Naomi’s newest album ‘Shatter The Glass Sanctuary’ (Slow & Steady Records, out 8 November 2024) is a collection of adventurous original works that chronicles her adjustment to small-town living in Missoula, Montana, after residing for many years in Seattle, Washington. Naomi can be heard LIVE in concert as she tours her new album across the Pacific Northwest from October through November.
(*) Parents in Jazz was started (first as ‘Mothers In Jazz’) by vocalist Nicky Schrire in August 2022. The initiative aims to create an online resource for working jazz musicians with children, those contemplating parenthood, and jazz industry figures who work with and hire musicians who are parents. The insight of the musicians interviewed for this series provides valuable emotional, philosophical and logistical information and support that is easily accessible to all. “Parents In Jazz” shines a light on the very specific role of being both a parent and a performing jazz musician.
