UK Jazz News

Mothers in Jazz: Esther Kaiser

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Esther Kaiser. Photo credit: Jordana Schramm

Vocalist Esther Kaiser was born in Freiburg in Southern Germany and moved to Berlin in the late 90s to study with jazz greats like Judy Niemack and Jiggs Whigham. Since 2014, she has been a professor of singing, jazz, rock, and pop at the University of Music in Dresden with a focus on teaching. She also gives workshops and coaching at home and abroad. Esther lives in Berlin with her husband and their patchwork family of three children, two teenagers of sixteen (a son and a stepdaughter) and a nine year old daughter.

UKJazz News: What is the best advice you received about balancing/juggling motherhood and career?

Esther Kaiser: When my son was born in 2007, I didn’t really have a role model for combining motherhood and being a musician and didn’t really get much advice about it. Most of my female teachers and professors didn’t have children so I had to figure it out myself.

UKJN: What information or advice do you wish you’d received but didn’t (and had to learn through trial and error or on the go)?

EK: Well, I think I had to learn that you cannot plan everything in life… some things turn out differently than you think. After separating from my first husband some time later I found myself in a patchwork family being not only a (divorced) mom for my son but also a stepmom for my new partner´s daughter with all the challenges and trials and errors on the way.  I learned that I just can’t always control the outcome of things. In life, we sometimes just have to improvise and accept. Like in music.

UKJN: Your top tip(s) for other mothers in jazz:

EK: Trust in your energy and ability to be both a mother AND musician! This experience of love and strength and purpose will just let you grow as an artist if you give this inner space to yourself. Be patient, not everything falls into place immediately. But it will – step by step and in the given time.

Speaking of time: I experienced that good time management is crucial! The rare hours you have to yourself are so precious – so let them be used! Of course for music, but not only for work. Now and then we all need some space for self care – maybe by just doing nothing or meeting friends, having a coffee somewhere nice.

And in case you get sick – which happened to me a lot during the first two years of both of my children with all the germs in Kindergarten for example – then stay home and take care of your voice – I had to learn this the hard way when I tried to work instead of an infection multiple times. It will take much longer if you don’t wait until your body is ready for singing again.

And my last but very important advice: Nobody’s perfect, we are allowed to learn from our mistakes! Again – it’s like in jazz: through improvisation and also through so called mistakes we can create something unique and beautiful.

UKJN: Baby/child gear tips for travel/touring/gigging:

EK: I have no special tip except not taking too much with you because of the weight you will have to carry – and touring itself is very exhausting. You and the close person for your child accompanying you on tour are more important than gear! Of course favorite cuddly toys must not be missed. My daughter, especially, couldn’t be without her beloved woolen blanket until she turned 8 years old and we also let the children use a tablet when they were a little older for watching movies or playing a game. And of course: Bring a lot of food. My children are always hungry during trips!

UKJN: Best general travel/gigging/tour-with-child advice:

EK: Plan your tour and journey wisely and early enough – with children, especially smaller ones, there will always be unexpected things coming your way so it’s good to start the trip to a gig as early as possible in order not to get into a hurry and be stressed out when you actually start singing. If the distance to the concert might be a little bit longer and if your budget and schedule will allow it, then you can even start one day earlier and spend one more night on the road just to avoid traveling the same day of the concert. It’s all about the best possible way in saving your energy for the moment of the concert. 

Let somebody accompany you who can take care of your child while you are on stage and preparing for the concert. It’s always helpful to ask the organizers of the concert in advance if they can provide a comfortable room where the child and babysitter can stay while you are on stage, especially in jazz Clubs where the backstage area can be quite small.

UKJN: What has surprised you about becoming a parent and remaining engaged with your professional activities and ambitions?

EK: At first I was surprised that even though my life and emotions were so deeply and fundamentally touched by the birth of my children that I didn’t change that much as an artist – I could still be me on stage; as a singer I was my old self and I didn’t act that differently after being a mother. So it was not like, “Oh I am a totally different person now that I have children.“ No. If I changed as an artist, it was only in the way that I give even more value to my music than before.

In contradiction to this, I had the feeling that, especially during my pregnancy, I was looked at in a different way by some of the (mainly male) bookers while performing or just coming to the office to schedule some gigs. It felt as if they would realize that I was not this young woman any more. Today I know I have much more to give on stage due to my fuller life.

UKJN: What boundaries have you set for yourself as a mother in jazz (could be related to travel/touring, riders, personal parameters, child care decisions, etc.)?

EK: For me it was always clear that I didn’t want to be away too much from my children. So teaching became an important part of my work in order not to be on tour on a regular basis. And even though I have a professorship in a city about 2 hours away from where I live, it’s still a regular and foreseeable thing once or twice a week. Most other days I am working from home and so I am quite flexible when something comes up like a sick child or a closed school. Thanks to my teaching, I don’t financially depend on touring, and therefore I have the luxury to plan my concerts and gigs wisely and only do things in art that I really want to. This also keeps the love for my work alive and that’s what my children hopefully experience about their mom and maybe integrate into their own future lives.

Mothers in Jazz was started by vocalist Nicky Schrire. The initiative aims to create an online resource for working jazz musicians with children, those contemplating parenthood, and jazz industry figures who work with and hire musicians who are parents. The insight of the musicians interviewed for this series provides valuable emotional, philosophical and logistical information and support that is easily accessible to all. “Mothers In Jazz” shines a light on the very specific role of being both a mother and a performing jazz musician.

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