Pyeng Threadgill is an American vocalist, composer, author, video artist and voice and movement teacher. As a vocalist/performer she creates what she calls New Porch Music based on the traditions of Black American Folk, Soul, Jazz and improvisational music. Pyeng uses these Porch Sessions to create connected conversations whereby audiences may reflect on their own life stories and identities for healing and empowerment. She has performed internationally and is a recipient of the fellowship in music composition from New York Foundation for the Arts for her album Portholes To A Love & Other Short Stories. Pyeng currently lives and works in Brooklyn, New York with her husband. Her daughter is nineteen years old and now a sophomore majoring in music and photography at college.
UKJazz News: What is the best advice you received about balancing/juggling motherhood and career?
Pyeng Threadgill: Sadly, I don’t really feel like I received advice about being an artist and a mother other than “you can do it” and I knew that wasn’t giving a full picture of what was in store. I did work with a therapist years ago who wasn’t a mother but introduced me to the idea of seasons and that it was alright to have full, bountiful times and also more slow/germinating times. That really helped me to put less pressure on myself when I’m in an inward phase or working more behind the scenes.
UKJN: What information or advice do you wish you’d received but didn’t (and had to learn through trial and error or on the go)?
PT: I wish someone would have told me it’s okay if you need to slow down to take care of your baby and your family. You’re doing a lot and, unfortunately, the world still doesn’t fully acknowledge those personal wins the way it celebrates record and ticket sales. It will come back to you. For example, just seeing your children grow up healthy and happy is incredibly rewarding. It’s okay to do things differently than how the music industry often presents them. It’s okay if you feel you’re carving a path as a parent and musician that you haven’t seen modeled before. Also, there may be times and even years that things are super challenging in your relationship-it’s normal! Having a young child can put stress con a relationship.
UKJN: Your top tip(s) for other mothers in jazz:
PT: I would say create a community/team to help you with the day to day and for when you know you have a performance/big event and also create a check list of ways that you need support so that you’re not overworking yourself on top of performing. It took me years but I felt so much better performing as my daughter got older and I knew how to plan for all my needs ahead of time. Planning outfits and hair ahead of time, clearing as much out of your day the day of a show, planning to have childcare starting several hours before a show, so you can really get into the mental/emotional space you want to be in. Even if your child/children come to the show (and I’m a believer in bringing children so they know how to attend live performances but also so they get to enjoy the music!:) try and have someone else in charge of them. Also making sure you have something good to eat. As a mother I feel so many of us plan meals for others but making sure we are well fed can get skipped. I’m grateful my husband is such a good cook and helps a ton with cooking.
UKJN: Baby/child gear tips for travel/touring/gigging:
PT: It’s been a long time since I had a little one on the road so I don’t know the best/ latest gear anymore. A baby bjorn, good stroller, good books and drawing supplies are always needed. We also listened to a lot of books on tape/cd and children’s music cds! I didn’t want my daughter watching a ton of tv (which I know has got to be super hard nowadays with smartphones) but she loved stories on cd. It also allowed her imagination to be free.
UKJN: Best general travel/gigging/tour-with-child advice:
PT: One of the things that made touring with my daughter most smooth was to always plan my travel ahead of the band/intended date. If I brought my daughter with me, we would try to arrive a day or two in advance to get her and ourselves settled with family things. I think this is super important actually because a lot of what upsets children in my experience is transitions so giving yourself and your child more time to transition into a new place and rhythm will ease the process. It’s often the little things like finding a grocery store, nearby park, perhaps rearranging the room to work best for them to play and rest in, that can make things go smoother.
UKJN: What has surprised you about becoming a parent and remaining engaged with your professional activities and ambitions?
PT: I never knew how important teaching and mentoring would become to me. I thought I was going to be a widely recognized performer but when I decided to prioritize teaching more in order to be home with my daughter, I also started to teach my daughter (and our close friend’s kids) voice. Now my daughter and I have this amazing, close bond through music that is so special it’s actually had to put into words. We understand one another in this other language. I wish I had had that with my father and in sharing it with her, in a way I get to receive it. Plus, she still allows me to teach her now and then, which is a huge compliment coming from a young adult!
UKJN: What boundaries have you set for yourself as a mother in jazz (could be related to travel/touring, riders, personal parameters, child care decisions, etc.)?
PT: Well, when my daughter was younger and even a teenager, I just realized I couldn’t hang at late gigs and wake up early in the morning to get her day started, something had to give. So I just accepted that I had to become an early-in person if I wanted to have my health.
When I was going on tour more and my daughter was young, my husband and I made up a rule for how long I would stay away. We said no longer than 2 weeks. That didn’t happen a lot but it was good to identify so we knew if I had a longer trip, then we had to do it together. When my daughter was a baby she actually didn’t mind me being away as much but as a young toddler and child, she would often get more quiet and clingy if I was away for even a few days. So I became much more sensitive to her needs as she got older and adjusted my touring/performing schedule.
Now that my daughter is in college, I feel like I’m finally learning that I actually need more help doing the things I used to do alone. I can’t lead a band, rehearsals, write music, promote shows, pick out clothing, do my hair, photograph everything and give the show of a lifetime. Lol! I need a few key folks to help me so that I can perform well and enjoy myself!:) That is key! to create space to not just make music but to enjoy the music.
Pyeng has just released her first book “Lost & Found: Finding The Power In Your Voice” which is a creative memoir on finding one’s power through connecting to your authentic voice. Her hope is that singers and people from all walks of life will pick it up and find inspiration in their own life’s journey to see that even if things work out differently than anticipated, there’s a lot of beauty and power in one’s own path.
(*) Mothers in Jazz was started by vocalist Nicky Schrire. The initiative aims to create an online resource for working jazz musicians with children, those contemplating parenthood, and jazz industry figures who work with and hire musicians who are parents. The insight of the musicians interviewed for this series provides valuable emotional, philosophical and logistical information and support that is easily accessible to all. “Mothers In Jazz” shines a light on the very specific role of being both a mother and a performing jazz musician.
