A Tokyo native, Meg Okura is a Grammy-nominated violinist and award-winning composer. With B.Mus. and M.Mus. degrees from the Juilliard School as a violin performance major, she made the difficult decision to switch to jazz upon graduation, going on to tour internationally with jazz greats including Lee Konitz, Michael Brecker, Tom Harrell, Diane Reeves, and many others. She leads the Pan Asian Chamber Jazz Ensemble, and her violinist, erhu player, or composer credits appear on over 100 albums, films, and live-performance videos. Meg lives in New York with her husband and their twelve year-old child.
UKJazz News: What is the best advice you received about balancing/juggling motherhood and career?
Meg Okura: The most comforting advice from a musician friend was “it will get easier.”
UKJN: What information or advice do you wish you’d received but didn’t (and had to learn through trial and error or on the go)?
MO: Ignore advice. In the beginning, I used to take advice from anyone too seriously. It will make you crazy. People are eager to offer advice because they love you, or they think your baby is so cute and they want to have a chance to engage with you. But the fact is each child is different and that whatever worked for another child may not work for your own.
UKJN: Your top tip(s) for other mothers in jazz:
MO: My biggest regret is that I put my daughter in a daycare. It was safe and convenient for us, but I could have done more myself. Your children may not be capable now to express how they feel, but when they are five or six years old, that’s when they will let you know the horror they have been through.
UKJN: Baby/child gear tips for travel/touring/gigging:
MO: I was given a very fashionable diaper bag that doesn’t look like a diaper bag at all. It made me feel “attractive”. It was so well made and had so many pockets that I kept using it after my daughter no longer needed diapers.
UKJN: Best general travel/gigging/tour-with-child advice:
MO: This will be a tour WITHOUT-CHILD advice from me. When you have a short one-off concert and are in desperate need of overnight childcare, a sleepover at a friend’s house is a great idea. Make sure you invite your child’s friends for sleepovers when you are able and build good relationships with their moms so that when you have an emergency, it will be easy to ask for a favor!
UKJN: What has surprised you about becoming a parent and remaining engaged with your professional activities and ambitions?
MO: I was surprised by the stress on my relationship with my husband. Unfortunately, my ambitions did not make me a better mom, and my husband had to step up more, which put a lot of strain on the relationship. However, it did get more manageable, and the relationship strengthened by putting more effort into overcoming disagreements and putting your child’s needs first.
UKJN: What boundaries have you set for yourself as a mother in jazz (could be related to travel/touring, riders, personal parameters, child care decisions, etc.)?
MO: I limit my social media use to the absolute minimum for many reasons. Your child’s school administrators (when applying to private schools) will (or could) look at your social media. Your child’s friend’s parents are following you. Your child’s friends google your name.
Meg’s new duo album with pianist Kevin Hays is called “Lingering” and is out on 10 May, 2024 on Adhyâropa Records. Meg is one of three female composers to have her composition ‘Phantasmagoria’ featured at the LunART Festival in May/June 2024 in Madison, Wisconsin.
Mothers in Jazz was started by vocalist Nicky Schrire. The initiative aims to create an online resource for working jazz musicians with children, those contemplating parenthood, and jazz industry figures who work with and hire musicians who are parents. The insight of the musicians interviewed for this series provides valuable emotional, philosophical and logistical information and support that is easily accessible to all. “Mothers In Jazz” shines a light on the very specific role of being both a mother and a performing jazz musician.
